This isnt real life and it isnt make believe. Its a cross between reality and how it could have gone if I had made it all up.

My name is Hospital Girl, obviously that isnt what my parents named me, but for these purposes itll do. Im what I like to call a supporter, that is, one of the people who you dont even know works at a hospital (or if you do you dont know what they do!). We keep the place going in one way or another but we arent doctors and nurses. The forgotten workforce. Anyone who works in a call centre will know exactly what I mean.........

So anyway this isnt one of these stories with a start and finish. I guess that means I can start anywhere! In that case Ill begin with the Midhusband. Thats the name we fondly use for the only male midwife in the hospital. A charming man in his 30s, but somehow he isnt married and he has that air of sadness around him. You might think its strange then when I tell you that he is the cheeriest soul around here.

Anyway so today Midhusband came into my office on his break not looking his cheery self. When I asked what was wrong this is the story he told. There is this porter here, we call him Nasty Nige (even though I think his name is Peter) and this bloke just never has a nice word to say. Imagine the boy who tripped you up and stuck notes to your back at school. Well Nasty Nige is the adult version. Apart from being entirely mean to just about everyone in the hospital (other than the charity grannies but then who could be mean to them?), for some reason he has it in for Midhusband more than anyone else. I guess he is jealous of someone being so cheery when he is a miserable git.

Back to today though, so Midhusband had decided to be extra helpful to one of his patients who had just had a baby. She was going home that day and since her husband had a bit of bad back, had offered to carry the baby for her to the front of the hospital for her to be picked up and taken home. Its a part of the job Midhusband loves, getting to see the new families so he was in a good mood. HOWEVER as he stepped into the lift and the doors were about to close, along comes Nasty Nige with an empty wheelchair also wanting into the lift. So the doors shut and the lift begins and Nasty Nige sniggers. Midhusband asked if something was wrong and Nasty Nige replied something along the lines of babies and nursing were womens jobs. Well Midhusband fumed but couldnt say anything with the patient there.

And then it happened....the lady who had just given birth said. "You can say what you want but they trust him with my baby and only trust you with an empty wheelchair. Who's the man now?"

Absolutely classic! Just another day at the Hospital.........